Lenore “the worst mom in America” Skenazy had an article in Reason recently about
the children who survived a plane crash in the Colombian jungle, and how their survival skills and competence contrast with, for example, the recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatricians that children younger than ten should not be allowed to cross the street by themselves, except in limited circumstances.
I could not have survived in the Amazon jungle when I was a child (and I wouldn’t bet much on my ability to do so now), but when I was a five year old first grader, I walked a couple of blocks to the Easterly Parkway Elementary School, which involved crossing William Street, and could involve crossing Ellen as well, depending on which route we took. As I recall, I walked there together with Linda Beike, the girl across the street we lived on, Garner Street, and another boy, who may have been Paul Filapelli.
I was evidently allowed to cross some streets, like William and Nimitz, but not Garner Street, which was not a major thoroughfare, but may have been a bit wider and busier than the others. Except one time when I was walking home and chatting with a couple of other children, and I realized that we had crossed Garner Street together, leaving me kitty-corners from my family’s house, since I was on the south side of Nimitz, as well as the east side of Garner. What was I to do? I was normally an obedient child, until I got a bit older and had conflicts with my parents about my bratty little brother and other matters, but I needed to get home, and didn’t see an adult around to cross me. I carefully looked both ways, and crossed Garner Street, and then crossed Nimitz as well; more than fifty years later, I’m alive to tell the tale.
When I was a few years older, I read
My Side of the Mountain, and daydreamed about running away from my mean old parents. I sought out other books to read about wilderness survival skills. I didn’t run away to live in the woods, but I did cross wider streets on my own before I reached the age of ten.
Children normally want to learn things, especially to learn skills which they have motivation to learn, and to become competent. They can be frightened, too, and they should not always be allowed to try everything which they think they’re old enough to start doing, but they should generally be encouraged to deal with minor risks, to develop their skills, and to become more more competent, both for the direct benefit of having skills, and so that they will become self-respecting can-do people, better able to handle what life throws at them. I worry about what kind of adults children who are not allowed to cross the street themselves before the age of ten will grow up to be.